From Pregnant Teen To Teen Mom-An Update

It has been a year since my grandson was born. He entered this existence on March the 5th 2010 to a very tired mother after 16 hours of labour and an enthusiastic grandma who has not stopped gushing since.

We had a whole crew in the delivery room- my older daughter, her father and her step mom, and her friend,( who is incidentally the sister of the father of my grandson), all present for the grand event.

He entered the world uneventfully, a nice 6 pounds even (no ounces), two weeks earlier than his expected due date. We had decided to induce labour because her blood pressure going up slightly and the ultrasound pictures were indicating that maybe he was only about 4 pounds. We decided to play it safe rather than sorry.

It was probably a good thing too, as my daughter is 5'1 and maybe 91 pounds....I was shocked he was even that big let alone if he had had a few more weeks to pack on the weight- she would have been in trouble then!

He was named Rashaud, which means 'of good judgment'. I thought it was appropriate, as even if we didn't understand the timing, there has to be a reason for his coming into being.

Once we got him home, of course we all had to make adjustments in the household. She has learned quickly that having a baby is no easy task. A full night sleep is a luxury. Being a teen mom means she has had to learn all about diapers and changing creams and how to make home made baby food, while her friends are worrying about the fast approaching prom.

She has had to deal with the fact that her life is no longer like that of her friends. She can't just go out at the drop of a dime. She can't just go to the party on the weekend without arranging for a babysitter.

She has also realized that even if she does go out, it is not the same, because her thoughts often wander to Rashaud. Being a parent is not just the physical dutiful things one must do, but that it consumes the heart and mind as well. I know that from the constant phone calls and texts that keep coming from her, demanding minute by minute reports on how he is doing!

She has had to figure out a way to deal with Rashaud's father and his family. it is a work in progress and the relationship seems to be getting better. After some denials, scandalous and hateful rumors, and finally, some distance, it seems like now after the year has passed we are starting to get some acceptance.

I decided to step out of this part of the equation as I not I have anything positive to add to the situation. She is the one that has to deal with them and is linked to this family through the annals of time. I have to accept this and let it go, even when my mother instincts are crying out otherwise.

I don't always agree with how she is dealing with this side of things, but I am aware of how important it is for a boy child to have his father in his life so I hope for the best in this regard. They are both young and confused and still sorting out their own place in the big picture of things so I just take deep breaths and try and hold my tongue....most times.

As the first year of Rashuad's life rounded out, so has all of our lives. He has affected our world for the better. Ashtonne has grown from a sullen insolent child into a stronger more resilient women.

Dealing with her teen pregnancy was not easy, but we have gotten through it and in some ways it has deepened our family bonds.  We have all learned that we no matter what we will pull together in times of adversity.

She has learned that she does not know everything and that she does not have all the answers. We have learned to talk and to respect each other. It is a bit of a juggling act for me as she is my child, who now has a child. I have to figure out when she needs me to be her mom, or just when to let her figure it out on her own. The parenting game has been altered for us forever and while I am saddened to see it changed prematurely, I am glad to know that the initial leg work that went into raising her seems to be working out so far.

There is a huge learning curve as she learns to parent her own son, but she understands that she has the help and support of her family to fall back on. She seems to realize she is lucky-after all I was a teen mom too and my relationship with her grandmother didn't work out as smoothly..I have a living text to go on for what not to do.

We take it day by day and celebrate the successes and fine tune the areas that are still works in progress. We are just grateful for our new edition and we take it day by day. After all life doesn't happen in a day...it takes a lifetime.